Finally with JL

IT started out that we wanted to meet each other but got nowhere to go.. I guess we just want to company each other and have no real agenda in mind..

So we end up driving for quite awhile when we decided to go hotel for a rest.. She wasn't feeling that well and I too hardly had any zzz on previous nite.. Soon we reached to our destination and I booked for 4hrs. No we didnt straight jump into action as both lie on the bed and was changing channels after channels.. Without too long - I started to make the move, kiss and lick her mouth, neck, ear and boobs.. I could tell she simply enjoy all the attention I've given to her body..

It come to the stage where her hand was reaching for my little bro while me do the same.. Shortly after that, she seem to be at daze (She took some cough drugs and really feeling daze.. At that point, I thought she couldn't hold on anylonger lol) and started commenting that let's sleep. Off she took off her top while I did the same... Again I keep giving her attention as much as I can and also trying to take off her bottom.. Once done, I did the same to myself..

When I was positioning myself to the holy grail.. She was kinda trying to stop me but without much effort.. Not long, in I went and man.. She's damm tied!!! To be frank I was very surprise and slowly thou initially she kept telling me no - In no time, she was enjoying every moment we had.. The best is yet to come when she's on top and she really can ride.. I don't know what make us come to this topic but I was telling her I can last very long if I want to.. Soon we stopped for awhile and again back to business which eventually we finished our stuffs.. She claimed she came 3 times while it took me quite awhile to reach my cimalix...

Somehow the astompshere was kinda weird but I didn't know how to ask her the right question.. Later that nite, she start the ball rolling and we were kinda sharing each other thoughts..

Frankly speaking I wasn't really want to do with her cos I kinda know this coming.. Now we did - I felt damm bad to make her going thru all these.. Yes both of us have another half but we seem to be can't enough of each other on everyday.. I'm worried.. worry that things will turn bad as all along - I thought she's more than a player than I do.. Plus this is my very 1st time to be in such a situation.. I can see things will turn bad and someone gonna get hurt once it got escalated.. sigh...

Lady luck..

I not sure what's wrong lately but I seem to be on the roll with ladies lately.. Couple weeks back, I was talking abt XP start throwing herself to me for some reason. Not that I even ever tried, let alone flirt, we hardly talk and..

Anyway next come is JH, who again met @ club and we endup making up in the cab. Then next JL who kinda throwing all kind of hints to meet me. We met afew times and once almost doing that.. However at this moment, I don think I'm ready to go next stage with her..

Lastly while flying back to Singapore, I did managed to hit on a flight attendant and got her number.. It kinda started out very weirdly.. It goes from she asking me if I'm Singaporean and of cos i replied where do I look like from? She - Not sure is been to frank or trying to be too clever, said I look like somewhere from SEA.. :(

Soon we start chatting and of cos got her number in the process.. No headways were made after that as she seem to be very slow in responding.. Anyway we will see..

Back to JL - We been almost consistently chatting even when I was out of town and of cos we met the very moment we can. Almost did that but.. sigh.. But I guess it's best for all. Then we start sharing more about our past or secret and I guess she's very into me now.. For example she was suppose to meet V's frz for lunch which, I express sad to hear so. She replied saying that she would jolly well meet me and cancel the appt if I had asked so.

I not sure how's things is going to end up or if it's a good thing.. Guess I am playing with some fire here.. She doesn't sound like a gal easy to handle.. And on her view abt me? I can see that I've given her very different feelings than the rest of guys she met. lol.. I guess it's because of my mess background plus living oversea for long period of time.. I do surprise and make others raise their eye browns from time to time.. ;)

Oh ya.. I almost die twice (Well indirectly) during my trip.. Damm I hate this kinda feeling.. Thou I do not wanna live to old.. But doesnt means I wanna die so young lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JL - So near yet so far

Was out drinking with JL last week after a long discussion with her via sms.. I didn't wanted to go out but was thinking - I gotto be out of town soon.. So didn't want to waste the chance. However do not want to sound like I eager to meet her.. So end up chatting the entire day.. lol

The started very normal.. We were playing 5 10 and drinking with her and some frz as well.. Soon we started to dance and around late thru the nite, I asked for my kiss (I been asking for a kiss as gift using some stupid reason :P) Man kissing with her is like in heaven and her dance move - I'm telling you, No man will not turn his head and look at her..

Soon it end of the nite and I suggested that we take a cab to my place, pick my car and send her home. Thou she didn say no, I take it as yes lol.. Again we start kissing again almost for the entire trip. Reached my place, again drag her to my room and start kiss and touches her everywhere.. However timing is just fuking wrong when her aunty is here....

LL send her back. Next day meet her up again and when to beaches for some quiet time.. Soon we started to ask some personal life.. (Well she started 1st as I know she too has something hiding from me). Soon we start kissing again and soon things got abit hot that I decided to hit another places where it's not so bright.. Soon we back of my car and strip her half nude.. I just love her breast.. So fully and nipple is so small.. She too love me kissing it and I think she couldn't take it anymore... Took off my jeans and wanted to do a HJ for me.. However I not into it so we left as it is..

How I wish to see her soon.. I can see that she has liking on me but just refuse to admit.. We shall see.. I'm praying hard.. Since it has been so long I had a good sex..

Nite out that ends up something alittle extra..

Was out to club on Friday with the fact that it's V birthday.. Our intention was to just Hi, Happy BD!! and off to our own enjoyment for rest of the nite.. Unexpectedlly, JH was there and we started to catch up with our own life abit.

It has been months that we met and of cos it's so nice to see her again. As usually she still looks damm good as before. Gotto admit I used to go ga ga on her however due bad timming and various reasons, we didn go anything further than just clubbing friends.

Thru out the nite, we were flirting with each other from time to time. But still kept each other from ourselves. Nites goes further till we are about to go - I decided to send her home as she's seem to be almost gone. In the cab, flirt level goes to a new stage where we started to make out!.. But as soon as we started, our destination has reach.. Sorry folks. it's her home - not hotel.. lol

All these recall back in those days we just get to know each other and from what I recall, I do know we have interests with each other.. So I guess this quick make out is kinda overdue?? :P

What's wrong with SG men nowadays?

Havent been updating much but with much intention. My BD was couple weeks back and as usual - Got drunk without even knowing how did I got back home. Sorry folks - Nothing happened that nite as my dear was with me in the club as well. But from what I gathered, I was so drunk that i did some crazy stuffs (Nothing sexual..) lol.. Still HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!! HEHE

Anyway I was @ fly again on fri nite after invitation from A. Initially we were all bore like shit as there's only guys but no babes among our group. Soon we saw 3 babes sitting beside us and A, start getting their attention and straight away point her to me - Hinting that I wanted to know her.

Soon we started to intro ourselves and J was her name. I kinda start it slow as soon after, this Small P(That's the nickname we gave her) kept throwing herself to me, asking some of the weirdest question you could ever think of.

And right infront of J - P flirt and tried to kiss me!! Man.. I felt like been raped by a gal who are way smaller size than I do. This goes on for like 1-2hrs before some lucky bastard pick her(Or she pick him.. Who cares) and she was like disappearing on and off for the rest of nite. Come to think of it. How come that bastard can't just take off with her? I was like avoiding her with every possible ways I can think of!!! One moment I took a chance to explain to J, that P is my frz's ex and she's confirmed gone liao. Take or don't takecare of her also not right. Donno what to do.

Finally left me some peace and work my move on J. Guess P kinda break my mood and I was kinda donno how to plan my move. Anyway out of nowhere, I requested J to dance with after seeing her dancing with her sis - Which she agreed without any hesitation!! Phew!! We danced for like 10mins? From face to face where we are kinda decent to starting to get abit too close for others liking. There's one part she was back facing me and uses her ass to rub my.. You know!! :P

All these while I felt that she's not resisting me as there was time she was holding my arm so that we can be close enough to each other. I know game is mine for the taking. Out of sudden, we heard some breaking glass behind us. Infact it just like way to close which thank god no one got hurt. It was her guy friend (Lets call him L. L for loser) who did that. Apparently L wasn't too happy about J & me close contact. We stopped dancing and J went over and checked on her. Out of nowhere, I saw him holding a empty bottle and pretty sure he wanted to "present" me that as 1st time meeting gift. I was kinda shocked and V (A's frz) also saw that and hinted me to be careful.

I took a quick chances and asked J, "L your bf?"
J - Hell no.. We are just friends..

Pointed noted and guess it better for me to get away for things to cool down. V & I was chatting about L and was surprised and laughing about what a Loser he can be. Gal got or almost got hooked by others and now he wanted to use physical? Comeon...

Anyway went back again and soon P appears again from nowhere. As usual, she started to molest me and J is going to ladies, walked pass me and commented:

J - Take care of your gf!
me - Takecare of your guy too!! :P
J - Please lor, My tastes can't be that bad and He's not my bf.
me - Please lor, She's not my gal too.

lol. I think she's did this on purpose but for what intention.. Not sure -_-". Soon she's back yet and i took a chance to quietly tell her when L view was blocked:

Me - Hey, I haven't get your number...

Guess what?? She back facing me and uses her left hand back reaching me. Instantly pass her over my hp and with her sis help (blocking L view again), keyed in her number and again like those pro thief, passed back hp back to me. lol

I knew I won't get any more action for rest of the nite with L and sis around.. True enough, she explained she gotto leave..

I guess this is the 2nd time I seeing SG men reacting so badly when their gal or gal to be, was firting or just chatting with some random ppl. Come on guys.. You need to show temper and or having intention to use voilent? I donno if gals feel proud about this but I don.. Infact I will feel ashamed if my friends does that. Thank god it hasn't happened yet.

Another stuffs I noticed recently while in zouk.. I noticed how come I look so much taller than most men in the club??? I mean I around 176 which isn't that tall but I can see across the dance floor that most of them looks so much shorter than I... I was sharing this with my bro and he commented that nowadays guys are way diff as our generation. He told me one of his guy friends fav color is PINK?!?!??!!

I donno what to say or explain this.. Either they are weird or I'm getting old fashioned??? Anyone can explain this new generation has gone to?

Change of luck

I've been some deep shit luck for the past 1yr or so. Love life was almost heading to noland till she appear nicely for me and a right time as well.



So now is my career which somehow was about to fly off till some jerk comes to the picture and has been in the standstill for so long.



In hope to get a better of luck and also I'm in full speed to look for new job - Will go veg, no sex, no drinking and no smoking for next 2 weeks. Gosh I sounded like a monk here. lol



Ok smoking is really out of question here. Today was my 2nd day I've been smoking more heavily than usually so that I can take my mind off from food.



For those who intend to be veg - My advise is prepare to eat and feel hungry 24/7. I felt like a my tummy seem to have some big hole or worm in there. Constantly feel hungry and I mean really hungry. My hunger doesnt seem to go away even if I just had my meal..



Hope I won't endup turning to a fatso after this 2 weeks..

Moving to facebook..

Due to various reasons, I decided to move all my entries to facebook. Thou will not maintain this any longer.. This blog will always remain special in my heart.

Wild Wild Stairs

We were both out for a great nite. I was more keen to meetup some of my v good old pals. Hanging around cafe and chatted all kind of shits while she's out to celeb a good bd party with frz.

Soon the nite is not getting young and we both need to head home. As usual I was driving and thru out the trip I was very turn on. Not sure why but she just never fail to make me feel she looks damm tasty!! lol

However timing wasn't right as she gotto wakeup early tommo and with no much choices - I sent her straight to home. However when our lust start kicking in while in lift. Soon door opened and I dragged her to staircase, start attacking her all over it. When the heat just got way to hard to control, I turn her around, pull down her panty and enter from behind. Man I still remember clearly her looks and moan.. It was heaven..

The best part is she keep saying "oh.. so hard!!". Those few words make me feel like man in mission. We kept going on for afew mins and soon turn her around facing me, carry her and enter from infront. Again it was really amazing that we are doing this.. Just afew meters away from her home!!!

However I guess the drinks that she had early has started to die down and I was sweating like shit. We ended as fast as we started. No neither of us did cum and we promised to carry on where we left for next day.

Next day or rather next 2 days.. We start attacking each other non-stop again she said those magic words. But this time saying "Oh So hard, So deep, so good!!".

Hmm I getting horny again.. Sorry need to DIY again :P

She's starting to enjoy more and more..

Eversince I took her V 2 months back.. We been humping each other for nearing 3 or each week.. As each sessions goes - I can feel she starting to enjoy it more as well.

Last night out of blue we decided to go hotel and have some private moment of ours... The nite didnt start well as her mum was kinda not feeling well of sort.. Soon the phone call ends, we kickoff by bathing together.. Well we didn really bathe as soon as we in the small little bathroom.. kisses started to comes in and soon I was playing with her gspot.. Without much invitation, we start humping each other and not long end up in bed.. That I can really feel so much diff on myself.. Previously or for god knows how long.. I felt having prob to make myself hard or stay hard enough. Recently took some pills and wow - I feel like a rock below and she does really feel the diff..

Every stroke i made. every deep one in her really make her enjoy like hell.. She even started to ask for more and give specific instruction how she wants it. Think we goes on with diff position and sort for almost 2hrs.. :P

Soon time is up and we both realised something.. She forgot to put on her nurse uniform as I requested initiating.. lol

JusticeLegal - Comments on NS guys

lately there's a woman who lives in Singapore(I'm not sure if she's Singaporean, which is why I indicate as living in Sing) who made some geious comments.. Click link below..

http://www.sgforums.com/forums/10/topics/368533

http://www.sgforums.com/forums/3220/topics/369198

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=79384



Like to comment 2 things :

JusticeLegal is simply brianless and tactless people. Sad to say alot of our countrymen & womem are like that. One person who is close to me is my current gf!!! She commented that yes NS men smell.. Which I agreed. But I told her told off and saying you should know how thick and freaking weather we had in Singapore. (She wore our NS uniform during paintball sessions)..

1st of all – We don’t have a choice to say do we want to serve or not. 2nd, show us prove that NS boys are spreading the virus she claim. 3rd – In what logic does one smells equals spreading virus?

Her children having nightmares and saying got green monster. Then educate your kids my god, not blaming our NS boys. It shows you don’t even know how to educate your kids in the right way I presume we going to have same kind of brainless & tactless countrymen/women in future as you set such example.

However I don’t blame JusticeLegal – Cos it’s our gov fault who set such a culture and education systems in place. Singaporean are very selfish people and those who had live oversea for period of time will know.

Plus everyone knows how much so call appreciation NS guys get from both gov and public. If you die during NS services, gov will give donno 3k/5k. I still remember NTUC comes to our camp during my NS days and try to sell insurance. Comeon man… Why can’t gov buy us that since we are doing a services to the country and not as if we choose to do so.

How much public support do we get for serving country? Gf left him cause no time, always tired or only can meet during weekends.. I heard in China if your wife do the same – They will be charge by China gov. Here? CO or some counselor talk crap abit here and there and expect you to get ready for action.

This is a sad country with sad policy and people. Unless we as citizen start act together and make some drastic changes or say on our decision makers/leaders – Things will just get worse..

Sometime I felt like a 2nd class citizen in my birth country with such people giving such comments like this. Especially for the injury I got during NS days and now I carry wherever I go for the rest of my life….

WTFFFFFFFFFFF

Sorry.. I need somewhere to vent these bad element I got. If anyone who see this post - Please comment on how you feel..

I sent a broadcast mail indicating I be on leave from when to when.. So my email as stated in the subject "Out of office - <start date> to <end date>"


My dear manager who think my english sucks (He made that comment during my appraisal), drop me this email "Do you think "Out of office" is more meaningful than "Vacation" or "On Leave"?"

Then my response is "Will take note in future"

I donno about how others thing.. I felt this is really unnecessary.. Beside.. Shouldn't we be more concern on job security and trying to prove it's worth? Then keep poking on such a small issue?


Any comments?

Her 1st time...

Last week we decided to do a short getaway in town which wasn’t something we want initially. But it’s still good to get away from work and city.

Checkin in late morning and the entire place is beautiful. The moment we were in the room – We just couldn’t stop touching ourselves from each other. After a short touchy here and there – We decided to take a bathe follow by soaking ourselves in the bathtub.

Things got heated up and along the course – We had sex for the 1st time. I can see that she’s totally enjoying herself and wanted to have more. Soon we decided to skip the bathing/soaking part and hit right into bed. I not going to go thru the details here as some would know – 1st time for her is a mixture of enjoyment and pain in between of the sessions.

Soon we done with that part ( I did not cum but she did for 4-5 times!!), we head outside and do some activities together. It was a nice and good afternoon for us. Lots of hugging, kissing, sightseeing and feel very love between us.

When night falls, we again head back to our love room and again we need to touch each other skin all over again. However for some reasons, she didn’t know she had lost her V to me in the afternoon. It only when I told her in the night – She like comes to reality and wanted stop what we’re doing and need sometime alone. So there I was, alone in the room while she hide herself in the bathroom.

I was lost and worry she might not take things too kindly about the whole thing. Thou the rest of the night was kinda weird and didn’t talked much. The next day was quite ok. We wokeup early in order to catch sunrise and while doing that – We did talked abit on this. I think she finally realized that I’m not out to play her but really into her.

Yes we both wanted this to happen. For me sad to say it’s kinda a lust but at the sametime I do love her a lot. Sadly as a man, we at times take sex as a benchmark to indicate if she’s yours or not. For her is really love. She loves me and wanted to make me enjoy as much as possible but never really thought we will end up having the full course.

We shall see how things goes after this and if really can be together for long or maybe forever…

We are so into each other

Remenber the movie “He’s not into you”? Basically is comedy story that says how guys go after gals & etc.. The key line of the story is guys will not even try if he’s not into you at all ladies..

Well that’s the storyline in the movie. Now between AL & me.. We are officially dating and calling each other as dear now. It all started of on thurs when she claimed that she’s not very sure if she’s really has feeling for me. To prove that doubts, she requested to stop seeing and meet each other for time being. On the day when she’s willing to meet me – Then it shows she do miss and have feel for me. Thou it’s not something I prepare or agree with it, still I agreed on doing her ways.

After hanging out the call – I kinda felt lousy and dropped her a mail with a song “Waiting for you” and indicating it’s something I like to hear together with her but no hidden agenda or hinting anything.

So next day come where we didn’t sms each other. Usually she will sms me during noon which I suppose her break time. 1pm past, no sms from her L… Then at night I somehow initiated the sms chat with her and end up her asking me to call her. Chatted for around 30mins and she dropped a sms back saying “miss chatting with you”. I was kinda pissed that moment and said some harsh sms to her.. After exchange some smses, she suggested that we try be together for 3 months and see how things goes. But her friends and family will not be knowing this till she’s very sure.

Anyway we been meeting for past 2 days and things are of course working very well. I can feel she’s totally falling for me and so do I. We commented that there are somethings we are actually doing together with each other, which we won’t have done so in our previous relationship. For me I’m not really a sms or phone chatting person. I still remb me hardly call E during my 1 month away to China and hardly call her. For her she’s also not really a phone person too and she never forgo her sleep in order to chat with people..

I guess how we met and things turn out that well was really very unexpected. I didn’t appear in her life at the right moment.. But I managed to say and melt her heart at the right time. Yes it’s so call 3 months trial period but I really can’t see we can’t work it out after this 3 months. Everything is so perfect and we seem to have endless topic to chat about.. Maybe she’s the 1 that I’ve been looking for?

Trying my best

I was hanging out with AL for the whole day yest (Sort of) and we both enjoyed each other company alot.. Plus yest was the 1st time we make out. :P However I knew I need to drop her a call once I reach home.. Apparently she's lacking in confidence with guys which is due to some jerk she met couple months back.

Rushed home and dropped her a call.. During the chat I told her I know that this call is a must and I need to be the 1st person to call her as I wanted to assure her I'm here for her. Again we end up chatting till wee hours and again topic is about us. Still we end the call happily with each other..

Come to think of it.. I never in my life going after a gal so hard before.. All my ex are like come and bang - We are an item now.. Now I need to keep doing things for her so that she can feel my sincerity.. No doubts she's has shortcomings and couple of issues in her life.. But i willing to work it out.. Hopefully things will go well for us. Oh btw - She claimed she's V!!!! Given that its true.. Think I kinda forgot the feeling on how to handle such gals already.. Think the only V i had was 14 years back and we were both damm young.. Can someone tells me how to handle such gals?

On the sidetrack.. Arsenal drew with Liv on 4-4 triller!!! Man.. What a match!!

Some thoughts to share..

Last night I was reading thru all my old posts and notice 1 thing – My English is getting from bad to worse. WTF -_-“.. It seems quite obvious I kind of lost touch the moves since I move to back to home ground of “singlish”.. Don’t get me wrong.. Never in my thoughts look down those who speak singlish as their 1st lang.. In fact I do enjoy using singlish.. It’s a quite of bond I never get to have when chatting with ang mos..

When having conversation with those ang mos, most likely you will be using terms like:
Damm
I feel you
Get my drift

But doing with locals it tend to be more fun.. We get to uses stuff like wah liao, knn.. cb & etc… Once when I was in San Fran airport and from far I heard someone using the word “lah”.. Instantly I turn around and saw a couple trying to do some shopping and somehow the hubby did look @ my direction as well.. We both give a smile to each other. Guess both knows each of us from the same mother tougue huh? :P

Many years ago I heard someone telling me this – You see chinese from china group together and help each other.. Same for most of the countryman who will do likewise when needed.. However Singaporean are the lest few who don’t and you should be the last person to think of if helps needed.

Sadly but true – I kinda agree with this statement.. Somehow for good or worst.. Singaporean are kind to people who they do not know.. You can see we flocking over to help someone plight when it’s on news.. But when come to friends?? Errrr….. Anyway I hardly get to meet any Singaporean out of this little island.. Think my record so far is only – twice.. hmm we are really a minority compare with others hor? lol

Someone dropped an comment earlier and asked if I can share tips or 2 on how to tackle gals.. or aka sianz chiobu in singapore context. (Singlish again.. hehe).. To be frank – I doubt I’m any good in doing that. Maybe my luck was kinda lucky or for some reasons, there’s some kind of looks/feeling I do give ladies… Maybe this should be answered by ladies instead of me..

However as ages keep adding more to my belt.. I notice me no longer like before where all I can is get into some babes skirt and once done deal – Secretly telling myself “YEAH!!!”… That was those days and I think most people are pretty much the same as me. Nowadays I more keen in chemistry.. get connected and rapports.. I may be kissing 1 but that doesn’t mean I’m connected to her. It’s hard to explain…

Look good plus a good speaker does help a lot.. Able to crack silly jokes will be a plus to gain attention as well.. However I think what most gals see are 男人味…. This is something that either you got or don’t.. Alternativesly, you can choose to be “special” one among the group.. Or should I say looks weird among the gang.. It’s strange you see. My friend was got pickup and get lucky in the club. His move? Nothing.. Sitting down there doing nothing or even joining us in a group and yet this babe choose him than anyone else.. Her point? He’s so quiet and kinda attrached by him..

I think most importantly is be yourself. It pointless if you tried to be cool and be someone who ain’t yourself. You may get lucky on the 1st night meeting a gal of yourself but how long can it last?

Oh ya.. I notice there are getting more and more sex blogs nowadays.. Plus Gary Ng who’s now leading the pack of everyone of us. It seem blogging that 1 sex live isn’t that taboo anymore..

Things are coming together now..

I would say things are starting to layout nicely for me eversince the last "showdown" with my management.. No longer having much issue with my manager. Yesterday I initiated a conversation with him and want to know what are things he like to see me doing or should not be. And respond was althou political - I would say it's a good start.. Hey, rome wasn't built in a day right?

Of late I've been hanging out with A alot and for some reasons, we somehow click damm well. Party together flirt with gals and cracking jokes at each other. :) It nice to have another good pal in my list..

However I started to feel tired of my current party life.. I know i gotto stop been so wild and I do find myself tame down alot.. No more sleeping around thou I do wish... Something about me is everytime I met a gal - Bringing her back is last thing in my mind.. A felt that I just trying not go back to my old days.. Maybe it's true but I think it's good. What A & K said abt is true.. I do have the chance to get lay but I refuse to do so.. No doubt I've been "virgin" for this year.. hahhahaa - At least I know I not screwing things up nowadays.. :P.. One must know when to go home eventually, right?

Back late March I met AL slowly we started to sms and get in contact quite freq.. Thou we only met twice but I do feel we connects everywhere.. Never felt so deeply into someone for quite awhile.. I not sure is due to pure luck or whatever that is, I was given a chance to celeb her bd eve with her @ sentosa.. woohoo.. Well thou I wasnt quite sure if that's her bd eve that nite, I thought it's better to b prepare than never.. Bought a cake and indicated her nick on the cake...( I did that on purpose :P) plus a bottle of red wine.. Thru out the whole night it goes pretty well and againtry not to thing too much abt it. Anyway I can tell from her eyes she appericate what i did which is good start.. :)

while driving back home - I posted her question on why she decided to spend her bd with me instead of someone special? She did replied but clearly she's not really speaking "english" :P.. I again asked her if I'm special to her - And respond is abit. For the good or worse, I learnt to be contented enough and never prompt her further after that.. I think if 5 years back - I won't miss that chances to make the kill!!!... Anyway...

After she's back - we started sms and she did claimed there's a possibities for us but we see how things goes.. So this is where we were and soon enough I left country for business.. During that 1st few days we kinda chat almost every other day.. Till one nite - I decided to let her know my dark secret so that she can decided if she still wanna try to work things out.. Likewise she told me some of hers and somehow it's that moment - We started to bond even further.

Sadly she's leaving for holiday with another guy.. To b frank I felt like shit.. Not bcos I felt been played or what.. Or rather I kinda regret not going further on her bd nite.. Anyway she could choose not telling me but she did - Which I'm appericate her for sharing with me.. However she's still refuse to allow me to enter her space.

3 days past since they left... I felt.. I donno.. it's hard to explain.. and surely doesnt feel good when she's not really trying to assure me.. plus I heard something from their hotel that I shouldn't have (I actually wanted to send her flower and called hotel to verify.. Somehow hotel was saying it's Mr & Mrs kok. When I was abt to order the flower - I was kinda lost... I didn dare to put down any loving words or my names.. That moment I felt if what the hotel said is true and I might causing trouble for her. Destroying any healthy relationship she could have is last thing in my mind... Anyway I decided to be abit "political" on my card msg) I hardly get any zz since that nite and feeling troubled.. Somemore I kept getting distracted during work as well - Which is very anormal for me.. I've somehow learnt the capabilities to focus on anything whatever happens to my personal life.. These few days I just simply can't focus.. Kept making mistake and going for smoke break.. Think I going to become a chain smoker soon... :(

Still we do get to chat every night via msn but really felt I'm just a normal frz to her.. Our chat somehow let one to another and I decided to spell out everything.. I know I'm no angel but I've been very good to her!!.. Definitely don't deserve such treatment from her.. Anyway she finally spill the pills and explain her feeling again. Lastly promised me she will open her door to me in future.. We shall see..

Now still at this freaking country and 1 thing I kinda sure - I really tone down alot.. Not even thinking of looking for flings or company for past few days.. Man, is this what parents always said "You are finally growing up son!!"?????

Truth finally out..

Eversince this re-org.. I'm having tons of issue with my so call local manager.. Making super duper weird requests.. stupid questions and donno how to answer remarks.. I came to the point where I actually "feedback" this to the highest command I could have..

Then last week - S came to town and we had a very long discussion.. and during the 1st half of the conversation.. S was practically lecturing me.. and it came to the point where I felt he's going to sack me. After he's done with the lecture he had for me.. asked what the reason for all the actions I did..

So I simply got no choice but gotto tell him the truth which I did.. after telling him what I had been thru.. I commented that all these wont have happened had they come clean to me in the 1st place.. S did apologies for all these..

According to him - They have no doubts on my work abilities.. but rather my personality or EQ i suppose.. However sadly I did not react any good for all these and now he gotto push his plan to promote me to mgr after june..

We agreed to try work this out and hopefully things will work out well. In the end - I do agree for my requests to swap team is running away from problems.. So now I back to square 1 and hopefully things will work out well...

YBB

Recently gotto know this china gal.. SYT!!! yeah!!! Anyway recently realised that I just cant get lucky with china gals.. When I was in Beijing last month.. Or I simply can't understand them at all..

Anyway back abt YBB.. Doubt I got chance to go further.. then again - I gotto feelings she's cold in the 1st place and take times to warm up.. For my past experience.. I will get a gal within afew days or just within a date.. it has never long or slow buildout.. Not sure if anyone has such experience.. but this is something i realised..

Talking abt PRC.. Gotto know this PRC who is B's wife.. And she indirectly flirting with me while every1 is around.. man.. Like I said.. I don't understand PRC.. totally..

What's wrong with me?

I know I've havent been updating very regularly.. Primarily because due to work and personal stuffs are taking most of the time.

Any quick updates on what happens to me lately.. Based on what I recorded - I was kinda together with a Jap babes for a while - Kiyoe. But eventually when she came to Singapore.. I was kinda in relationship with K again.. Yes we end up making out with one another but somehow our 2nd burst of fire didn last long..

She did something stupid behind me.. Which not in the mood to talk abt it now.. Anyway after that - I will once a while get lucky with a gal on & off..

However recently I realised something - I could have get to lay way more gals than I actually had.. What do i mean by that? Well just like NW - I could have bedded her but I did not. That's bcos I feel she will be very sticky to me..

Then talk abt yest @ fly - 1st L was flirting with me but somehow i refused to return favour.. Then later that nite, JT hangout with me and again she was too flirting and touchy with me. Even F was commenting that I refused to hug her..

Really not sure why and how come I started to react that way.. I know I wan sex but I scare to go into it.. Can someone explains why?