Should I or should I not?

Lately I been at 2 minds for almost everything.. 1st thing 1st.. I been wanting to update my blog for very long time.. However on another hand - I'm afraid she somehow see this blog.. (For whatever reason - I'm not going to disclose here.. Sad right?)

2nd - I was actually given a chance to get laid with some new ladies I met recently.. Again thoughts of doing a betrayal somehow stop me from going anywhere further..

Just couple weeks ago, gotto know a L thru frz and I could see she's all over me.. (Even my guy frz can tell).. Instantly asked for my fb and insist of taking pic on very night.. However she just not my type! opps.. :P

Then again last weekend gotto know K.. (She half jap and for some reason, I always get lucky with jap lol) Again I could sense that I'm for home run.. She's definitely doable but somehow - Something is pulling me back.. Is that a sign of finally growing up? lol

Netherless - I know my beastie mindset can't hold much longer.. It just waiting to release and sooner or later it's going to be.. The thoughts of just making love with 1 woman for rest of my life somehow scare me..

I need some help!!!!

Double Standards..

Sometime I really don't understand some people.. Y would someone can insist on something and yet not doing it? This is freaking absurd. And best of all? You can fuck up something and yet blamed it on me?

No matter how much I can tried to do my best - Somehow it's always 2nd best to u. Always something to say.. Always something to complain.. Always something to not like. I'm a fucking human ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updates..

These few months has been full of hell broke loses.. After constant fights and of cos many sessions (u know) - We finally coming to the end.. I guess it best for everyone.. I'm like 4 parties, who's bf, hubby and son are right infront of the Q.. Anyway there and I see no future between us.. So might as well..

Got to know FL from my flight back to home.. It started out kinda funny as she was making some stupid and unintentional remark of my looks. Anyway I wasnt feel that great. As we all know how nice and friendly SQ gals can be.. She brought some sweets for me and we start to make some small chat here and there. But she wasn't responding very posivtiesly when back to town..

Strangely enough FL sms me on new year greeting and we kinda kickstart of our friendship from there.. Soon I realised she just broke off with her ex and some hoo haa between 2 of them.. Somehow not sure if both of us are just looking for something or stuffs to keep us busy from mind turn wild or simply bcos we do wish to see how far can we develop..

I've to say, she's giving me mix signals from time to time.. At times I feel there's chances while at times.. I just felt he's just bore and I'm easily avialable...

Finally with JL

IT started out that we wanted to meet each other but got nowhere to go.. I guess we just want to company each other and have no real agenda in mind..

So we end up driving for quite awhile when we decided to go hotel for a rest.. She wasn't feeling that well and I too hardly had any zzz on previous nite.. Soon we reached to our destination and I booked for 4hrs. No we didnt straight jump into action as both lie on the bed and was changing channels after channels.. Without too long - I started to make the move, kiss and lick her mouth, neck, ear and boobs.. I could tell she simply enjoy all the attention I've given to her body..

It come to the stage where her hand was reaching for my little bro while me do the same.. Shortly after that, she seem to be at daze (She took some cough drugs and really feeling daze.. At that point, I thought she couldn't hold on anylonger lol) and started commenting that let's sleep. Off she took off her top while I did the same... Again I keep giving her attention as much as I can and also trying to take off her bottom.. Once done, I did the same to myself..

When I was positioning myself to the holy grail.. She was kinda trying to stop me but without much effort.. Not long, in I went and man.. She's damm tied!!! To be frank I was very surprise and slowly thou initially she kept telling me no - In no time, she was enjoying every moment we had.. The best is yet to come when she's on top and she really can ride.. I don't know what make us come to this topic but I was telling her I can last very long if I want to.. Soon we stopped for awhile and again back to business which eventually we finished our stuffs.. She claimed she came 3 times while it took me quite awhile to reach my cimalix...

Somehow the astompshere was kinda weird but I didn't know how to ask her the right question.. Later that nite, she start the ball rolling and we were kinda sharing each other thoughts..

Frankly speaking I wasn't really want to do with her cos I kinda know this coming.. Now we did - I felt damm bad to make her going thru all these.. Yes both of us have another half but we seem to be can't enough of each other on everyday.. I'm worried.. worry that things will turn bad as all along - I thought she's more than a player than I do.. Plus this is my very 1st time to be in such a situation.. I can see things will turn bad and someone gonna get hurt once it got escalated.. sigh...

Lady luck..

I not sure what's wrong lately but I seem to be on the roll with ladies lately.. Couple weeks back, I was talking abt XP start throwing herself to me for some reason. Not that I even ever tried, let alone flirt, we hardly talk and..

Anyway next come is JH, who again met @ club and we endup making up in the cab. Then next JL who kinda throwing all kind of hints to meet me. We met afew times and once almost doing that.. However at this moment, I don think I'm ready to go next stage with her..

Lastly while flying back to Singapore, I did managed to hit on a flight attendant and got her number.. It kinda started out very weirdly.. It goes from she asking me if I'm Singaporean and of cos i replied where do I look like from? She - Not sure is been to frank or trying to be too clever, said I look like somewhere from SEA.. :(

Soon we start chatting and of cos got her number in the process.. No headways were made after that as she seem to be very slow in responding.. Anyway we will see..

Back to JL - We been almost consistently chatting even when I was out of town and of cos we met the very moment we can. Almost did that but.. sigh.. But I guess it's best for all. Then we start sharing more about our past or secret and I guess she's very into me now.. For example she was suppose to meet V's frz for lunch which, I express sad to hear so. She replied saying that she would jolly well meet me and cancel the appt if I had asked so.

I not sure how's things is going to end up or if it's a good thing.. Guess I am playing with some fire here.. She doesn't sound like a gal easy to handle.. And on her view abt me? I can see that I've given her very different feelings than the rest of guys she met. lol.. I guess it's because of my mess background plus living oversea for long period of time.. I do surprise and make others raise their eye browns from time to time.. ;)

Oh ya.. I almost die twice (Well indirectly) during my trip.. Damm I hate this kinda feeling.. Thou I do not wanna live to old.. But doesnt means I wanna die so young lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JL - So near yet so far

Was out drinking with JL last week after a long discussion with her via sms.. I didn't wanted to go out but was thinking - I gotto be out of town soon.. So didn't want to waste the chance. However do not want to sound like I eager to meet her.. So end up chatting the entire day.. lol

The started very normal.. We were playing 5 10 and drinking with her and some frz as well.. Soon we started to dance and around late thru the nite, I asked for my kiss (I been asking for a kiss as gift using some stupid reason :P) Man kissing with her is like in heaven and her dance move - I'm telling you, No man will not turn his head and look at her..

Soon it end of the nite and I suggested that we take a cab to my place, pick my car and send her home. Thou she didn say no, I take it as yes lol.. Again we start kissing again almost for the entire trip. Reached my place, again drag her to my room and start kiss and touches her everywhere.. However timing is just fuking wrong when her aunty is here....

LL send her back. Next day meet her up again and when to beaches for some quiet time.. Soon we started to ask some personal life.. (Well she started 1st as I know she too has something hiding from me). Soon we start kissing again and soon things got abit hot that I decided to hit another places where it's not so bright.. Soon we back of my car and strip her half nude.. I just love her breast.. So fully and nipple is so small.. She too love me kissing it and I think she couldn't take it anymore... Took off my jeans and wanted to do a HJ for me.. However I not into it so we left as it is..

How I wish to see her soon.. I can see that she has liking on me but just refuse to admit.. We shall see.. I'm praying hard.. Since it has been so long I had a good sex..

Nite out that ends up something alittle extra..

Was out to club on Friday with the fact that it's V birthday.. Our intention was to just Hi, Happy BD!! and off to our own enjoyment for rest of the nite.. Unexpectedlly, JH was there and we started to catch up with our own life abit.

It has been months that we met and of cos it's so nice to see her again. As usually she still looks damm good as before. Gotto admit I used to go ga ga on her however due bad timming and various reasons, we didn go anything further than just clubbing friends.

Thru out the nite, we were flirting with each other from time to time. But still kept each other from ourselves. Nites goes further till we are about to go - I decided to send her home as she's seem to be almost gone. In the cab, flirt level goes to a new stage where we started to make out!.. But as soon as we started, our destination has reach.. Sorry folks. it's her home - not hotel.. lol

All these recall back in those days we just get to know each other and from what I recall, I do know we have interests with each other.. So I guess this quick make out is kinda overdue?? :P