QQ

I met QQ @ one of the KTV joint almost amonth back.. Yes she's TKB. however she seem to me a very decent gal. Then again - What's new from gals like her. So we usually only hangs out on Sunday nite which she did complained about on why I only available at night..

So on the nite of 14 July, we met and went for some streamboat near bugis.. Soon she mentioned that never been to any of the dancing clubs in Singapore.. I was on shorts and not much places to go.. So i thought why not those Thai Disco instead? However she didn like it and we actually sneak out from the clubs even after placing the orders..

Since it's Sunday and only clubs to go is St James - I told her need to go back get dress before we head down party.. So when we reached to my void deck.. She was at 2 minds on coming over my place while I get dress (It was almost 12am and parents are sleeping). But eventually she did came over and I wasn't really think of having anything special with her. I like to but never thought it will happen.

Soon when time was right - I took the chance and gave her a french kiss.. One thing let to another and we endup having sex.. I have to say thou she got a pretty good body here.. But she pretty dead in bed :(..

I won't say I don't enjoy it but rather I need it after DIY for so long :P

However we met last night as she was scheduled to leave this morning.. I guess she kinda feel time is running out and yet to get anything from me (In terms of $$$).. She actually tried her luck on asking if I can pay for her flight back to Singapore again.. Thou I agree but told her will only give her when she's back.. Very next min - Face turn black. Kaoz.. China gal really straight forward lor.. Can't really stand her...

PS: Sorry for this poor posting.. I just wanna jotted it down and hopefully will have time to refresh this post soon..

BA

I was actually in St James couple weeks back with M. But this bastard frz of mine decided to took off around 12 when I havent even started my drinking engine.. Lucky he got another group of guys who I happened to know one of them which in the end I endup hanging out with them.

Think SG is super small lor.. later that night I met my old boss. Said hi abit and he intro me 2 of his gf. 2 Milf. Frankly speaking think I freaking daring that night or simply I wasn't really care. I will talk abt it later.
T - M's frz got a lady friend joining us later ( I heard it's his colleague sis).. and I think that gal was having some interests in me that night. Hope night wracking, trying to put me down. Make me drink like hell but I wasn't really making a move on her. In fact initially i was flirting with Unknown (Actually I forgot her name :P). kissing and hugging her in public. Then shortly I was doing the same BA as well.

When it's getting late think around 1am - BA gotto go as one of her frz is drunk. So i ask her if she can come back and look for me. Surprisely she did and later that night brought her to hotel for some fun. But I was very tired and in the end spend the entire night with her and bond her twice.

Soon things started to get ugly here. She start calling or sms me everyday.. To the point that she will uses another unknown number to me dropping me a call. All these while I was avoding her (I wasnt avoiding her but she has gone too much). from all her calls.

I think this is the 1st time ever I met a stalker.. seriously it can be quite ugly.. I already told her not interested to go for relationship but guess she wasn't in-sync with me.. Now her calls has seldom alot. She used to make 10 over calls a day.. I don't even make 10 calls to my gf in a week!!!

Hopefully she will goes away soon. Sorry BA - I just not interested to go relationship and definitely you are not for me. I just happen to need you that night. Call me jerk if you like.

M throwing his towel...

M who didn't took too well about my upcoming promotion have decided to call it a quit - Well sort of.. Basically he have been working on a request to move to another group which going to take place most likely next week. All this happened when my boss ain't @ work. So nothing much can be done and it's pretty much conclusive..

After hearing this news, boss dropped me a call and we had a quick chatted about this.. Thou I knew she been wanting or felt it's best for him to move some where else - What she told me during the conversation thou not surprising to me but did managed make me felling off my chair

"I think his move might actually work best for everyone!!!".

I had a quiet laugh about it. Not because I'm happy to see him going off but I never expect a manager would actually said something like this.. Especially for someone who actually under her wings for past 7-8 years..

Not sure it's a blessing in disguss for everyone or infact will become a timebomb here.. Thou almost everyone knows M is definitely not the best person to talk to when you are running into some issues - I'm have a guts feeling my guys in India might felt that M was force to leave due to me.. Still I'm glad to be going to India by end of this month (Trust me.. If not due to work - Give me $$$ I also don wanna go lor!!) and get the chance to chat with them in person. Hopefully everything will work it out to me..

Back to my personal life.. I was out again to KTV with K & F yesterday and the bill for each head is $200.. Something just came to my mind.. Why am I wasting my time thinking of E, going to KTV and not enjoying myself? Like yesterday outing.. I didnt get to bed anyone, didnt get to drink enough and confirmed not getting enough fun from it.

Again K sent an activation to KTV tonight.. which I told him not wanting to spend such $$ again.. Also I like to start planning on the stuffs that I've been wanting to achieve... Here are some of them which hoping it will come true by this year..

1. Obtain afew certification that will confirmed enchance my career profile. I guess getting promotion to Manager is a very good start of my career new chapter.
2. Slim down to what I was 4 years back. Back then I look damm fit, at least decent looking.. Now looking myself.. I felt like it's Piggy god has taken over my body!!
3. Find my true love. E is definitely and confirmed over - Be it what she's going to happen to her now or in future. So start learning to take rough road and move on. Thou it's not something you can rush but hope it will come true. Oh ya - My new love must at very least, look like Fann Wong hor!!!
4. Perform well with my new role.. This is something new to me but I do hope I'm more than capable to do them. Remb a soccer kakis always used to say I can be a good captain/manager if I want to be even thou I kept saying no to them. I just refuse to give a try.
5. Brush up my PR skill. Think my PR skills only comes out when I'm high.. Either I need to be high at all time or start finding some ways to.. u know. ;)


Oh ya - I just had a damm stupid dreams.. Basically the dream said I got AIDS after going for a checkup or was doing some blood test. Can't remb it.. Nabei.. touchwood ok??? I still yet to get marry, have kids.. **fxck** enough babes. Therefore TOUCHWOOD A POWER OF 1000000000000000000000000000000 !!!!!

Relief..

Went out for some drinks with L & N over tues night.. and eventually I decided to pour my sorrows to someone.. I've been feeling like shit for past few months and been wanted to share with someone.. Also at the sametime wanna let myself go totally but somehow I kept controlling myself.. I fully well know that I can't do that as there's too many plates on hand..

After some drinks I started to pour all my thoughts and feelings.. When I'm done with whatever xcvn i wanna share and hearing some advises from him.. My tears start pouring off.. (Just 1.5 drops lah).. But somehow I felt very relieve.. My heart just felt so much lighter.. Thanks alot L thou you wont get to see this.. :)

When I got back home - Drop a email to E again telling her, please give me a chance to live without her and stop calling me.. Be it her current relationship is going to work or not. Just don call me. I know I'm jerk for doing that but I really need that some peace and life without E again..

E.. Why?

She never fail to surprise me.. And I believe I've done way more stuffs for her than any guys.. Somehow she felt we should end our story 3-4 mths back.. Actually I kinda expected it..

Now she got someone who she thinks is the one. Can you believe that? 2 weeks ago she claimed no relationship very sure.. 2 weeks??!!? 14 days??!!?? To be frank - I've been thinking about her lately.. Alot and I trying all sort of ways to get it off my mind.. I know it's a losing battle but I'm and still trying.. However hearing this news really hurt me big time..

Why is that I have to know her? Had I never meant her ever, I most likely happy married with 2 kids and a beautiful wife.. I guess and strongly believe in karma and guess I owed her bigtime in my previous life and now it's my time for payback. But 2nd time? Havent and shouldnt I already fulfilled the payment after the 1st? I was on the verge to end my life when it 1st happen and took me fxxking long time to pull myself back.. I know I way stronger than I was 5 years back but it's very painful to go thru this again - & alone.. Like people says - Love and hate so much similar..

Can someone please guide me out from this hell?

K wants more...

Been hanging out with K for the past 3 Fri.. Along these times, she been trying to hint me about wanting to be with me again. Frankly speaking I’m not exactly sure if I’m ready to jump into another correctives camp – yet.. I’m kinda happy to be what I am now. I can do what I like, want or wish. No need to report to anyone or doing those routine stuffs every weekend.

In the end I told her that frankly speaking we don’t know each other at all and I definitely not keen to jump into another relationship, drag for x number of months/years, make some small and big fights and eventually we both decided it best to go our separate ways.. Let’s take thing slowly and see how it goes.. Lastly I make it a point say sorry but it’s either my way or no way..

On other hand – I know feel lonely and would love to have a partner.. Especially like today.. J Anyway, I think I felt that I like her but will never love her again.. Things like what she did last week (She cried and make a scene outside a club) after some drinks.. Whatever it is, let’s just wait and see..