床前明月光..

The following poems are very commonly know to most chinese... Somehow rather recently.. I realise this poem says about my feelings & how much I miss home..


床前明月光，疑似地上霜。举头望明月，低头思古乡。

If there's only you and me...

Love this song alot.. Not sure why.. Makes me remind of her - E ... Alot.. Would love to say this to her..


"Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people and
I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of "

Anyway enjoy guys.. You and Me, By LifeHouse....

Happy Birthday Bro!!!

We have been rarely chat & get together eversince I'm here.. But not sure if you realise that we somehow much more closer than before.. We share stories, flings, anger more than before..

I've thanks you for taking care of mum & the family.. Also thank you for been so supportives in me.. Even thou at times I'm a jerk.. Finally I thanks the world for giving me you to be my bro..

26 yr old you are now.. Time to be man liao hor? k? Happy bro J!!!

Oct 27th 2003.....

Saw this post by Sexual Innuendo makes me recall what happened & been thru 2 years back. I was on my way to State at that time & just got into the relationship with E... The feelings at that moment were very mixed.. Confuse, afraid, worries are some of the feelings I had.

I still remb the last few min before I boarded the plane & we were exchanged sms. Her last sms is, "Why does all these has to happen to us? Why do we gotto know each other that late? Hope you do well there & pls take care of yrself..."

On that moment, I felt like unboard the plane, take the shortest time to & be with her.. But alas we are not in those love drama series where this would actually happen.. So off I flew to State where I transit @ Japan.. Moment I touched down, drop her a call & all she do is kept crying.. I felt so hurt.. Felt I done a very bad mistake for leaving her.. & she right, why do I wanna leave? So many whys & little answer to offer..

After leaving Japan, touching down @ Chicago.. Again I called her once I'm able to do that.. Again she cried.. Alot & all I could do are sweet-talking her over the phone so that she will feel better.. But soon our long-distance relationship only last not more than 2 months.. It very sad.. One gotto follow what his brian said while his heart is @ hometown.. No.. He left his heart & soul to someone else.. & now becos of the stupid $ & career, he lost his most beloved one in his life..

For ladies, man.. I mean all men in the world hate when he can't do anything nothing but.... just listen - & keep quiet thru out the whole situation.. In agony.. That man for you.. I remb a phrase very clearly that goes - Being woman are tough.. She needs to know when or what can be said or not. Being men are even as tough.. He needs to know what should he do or not.. No one is tougher than others.. It all the same.. There I was, made her cried so badly.. But nothing I can do or offer her.. The crying, the complains, the sadness & phone calls.. It still sounded so fresh in my mind as it just happened yesterday..

So what has happened between E & me? She’s gone.. Far far away.. I can sense that.. She no longer the gal that once love me as deeply as before.. But she's still as ever in my heart - forever.. Maybe no one will ever able to replace her.. I donno & don care anymore.. Cos I’ve tried before.. Tried very hard to forget her.. but failed.. That’s the meaning of life.. Only when one falls will he understand what is pain.

Sexual Innuendo - Even though we are in the diff position as you are at the moment, I can totally understand what you are going thru... But guess you can be glad that she only going to Indo.. for couple of months.. However if you 2 are very committed to each other.. Then you 2 will become a better couple after this..

Damm....

Today should be a joyful day for me.. But apparently it wasn’t my day.. 1st I only got to know just today I was on call for this week.. Kaoz.. donno which bugger changed the schedule secretly. I don’t mind working more.. But I would prefer to be informed before hand.

Next I was working on an issue that was hand to us from the DBA. Although since last week we have been telling them that their request is against the policy & we will not open it – This bugger kept insisted us to open the port so that his ass is covered. Furthermore He sent this issue as critical level. I spoke to him & the manager in charge. Telling them that there’s no way we going to open for him just because he made mistakes on his part.

Even after the conversation – He still sent the ticket to my colleague. At that point.. I was so flare up that I update the ticket saying “I not sure how many times do we need to tell you that this is not going to happen”.

But after that, I still felt very bothered.. In the end – I sent a broadcast email to him & my group

“R,

You have been escalating a Severity level issue to us since this morning. Again we have advised you numerous times that the request you made is against our policy”
Damm it work.. Manager in charge called me & says he will ask for top management for approval.. God.. I very bad.. Or my england too powderful for him????

Happy Birthday.. to myself.

I almost miss my own birthday.. Kinda got mixup with the timezone.. Anyway happy birthday to myself & wish everything will goes well for me. Especially my mum.. & my exam :P

(Kinda sad & pathetic to write such stuff abt myself leh...) Well I am waaaaaaaaaaaat!!

I applied for a job couple of months ago & got a response from the employeer

"L’s experience does not look very substantial.
We can consider him for the team member position.
Maybe about $3,500. Is he prepared to consider?"

I cant believe what they wrote about me. This is my response:

> Having working in one of the biggest firm & hosts
> one of the biggest private network in
> the world. Our DC in Austin which I managing hosts 50 over
> firewalls & IDS. On top of that - my team handles all
> security & risk management issues globally for both
> Oracle & its clients - Their comments does not justify
> what I've been doing also doing a dis-services to my employer
> - O..

Frankly speaking I feel very disgust and angry on such comment. Have I been wasting my time for the past couple of years? Or thou my career seem to be progressing.. Somehow in actual fact it has been going nowhere... Firstly I hate that company eversince I got to know them. But since I looking for jobs - Won't mind hearing what they gotto say. But such remarks from them has blew me off totally.

Oct is coming soon and I be back SG without a job.. This is getting me very worry about my future.. Starting to feel me like a good for nothing son again (Had such feelings when I just started to work).

Birthday is just 3 days from now.. Totally no mood to celebrate. Sigh

What is wrong with me??!!?

I am starting to think that I’ve developed lack-of-sex-lunatic symptoms. Why? Lately I’ve been hanging out few P & all I can think of is sex.. WTF is wrong with me????

I used to be let-the-flow,-flows or if-it-happens-it-will-happen guy. Sex has always not in my part of any previous dates at all. But for some reason I kept thinking of it. & it driving me crazy.

Guys who has the symptoms as I do – I’m telling you, your date knows & they can feel it!!. Not that I knows ladies very well but ladies are very sensitive on such stuff. Any solutions for me ladies???

Who is edu.sg???

Look at the screen capture on the left - One of it is "edu.sg" that has been coming over here almost everyday???? Is that SG gov?? Doesn't look like it.. But if it is, don sue me hor? I very loyal to SG hor.. I didn't make any racisim comment leh.. Everyone I know has commented that I very friendly & has friends across the board leh...

wimp wimp..

Still got it huh? ;)

Was out on Friday nite to a clubs downtown.. We were there earlier but decided to head down to somewhere & comeback again.. When we cameback, it was around 1am & another hour more before it call it a day.. or nite..

Anyway when we went straight to the dancefloor, saw a cute asian chick.. When she was eyeing & giving me a smile back.. Which I did too.. Anyway smiles & friendly hi is cheap over here.. Not in SG.. When a babe does that, you know your chance are there..

But I didn't made any move & we headed straight to the bar to order some drinks.. Shortly she came over & did otherwise too.. Both my friend & I were checking out on her & my friend started to pickup some chats with her.. Soon they got intro & she turnaround & intro herself to me..

My friend somehow knew I gotto do something & kept pushing me to ask her for a dance.. Of course I did.. So up we went to the floor had some dance.. Shortly after, she initiated it we started to make up @ the dancefloor.. Man.. It has been months that I gotto get so close to a babe & making up with a babe!! (BTW - Making up in american means kissing)

Frankly speaking I wasn't expecting this as she has a guy friend around & they look kinda close.. Very clearly this guy is out to get her.. Guess I kinda a stumper.. :P Anyway nite wasn't really that young anymore & everyone gotto back to bed..

So next day I called her.. & we chatted alot.. According to her, she drunk & doesn't really remb what she did last night. Well I guess she trying to hint something to me.. We chat abit while & she asked if I be keen to go down the same club that nite (Sat Nite). Which of course I agreed.

So again I insisted my friend to join me again & again that Guy is there too.. Seem like they came down together & they were all over each other.. Actually I was kinda piss.. Well she asked me out right? Didn't really talked to me much & also at the sametime I didn't get any real chance to do it.

So soon they heading for some pool & we only stayed for awhile & decided to call for a day. Before I did - asked her if is ok if we meet for dinner or what on Sunday.. Which she agreed.. but on Sunday, tried called her once & she didn't answered.. So at that moment, I was kinda giving up.. Frankly speaking, I hate girls playing hard to get.. Well that how I see it between us..

Surprise surprise - She sms me today & saying that she didn't had her cell last night & that why.. So I replied & we agreed to meet tommo. Anyway looking it back.. I guess this ain't going anywhere & I definitely not going to get anything from her.. Anyway since it a date - So just go there & show face lor.. man think it has been so long that I talked about babes.. right?

Someone worth mentioning..

Happens to bounce into this joker site & man.. He damm good... According to his comments, there's lots of gals actually show interests in him... KNNC... how come I don't have har? Maybe I should use more F words from now on.. So he the next version of what I wrote earlier..


Nabei.. Kanna shoot into this fucker site.. He damm cheebye lor.. Hooked all the babes.. Never leave some for others.. If I see him.. wanna hoot him!!

Come to think of it.. think I can consider a beng too.. But in diff version.. He's is consider the orginal version of beng.. me? In the middle of got bit of edu background & beng of fuck care attidute.. Anyway.. R - if you see this... Don F me can? Don call pple & beat me can? Pls? whimp.. :(

Who’s right, who’s wrong?

Eversince me in State for this particular almost 2 years, I’ve felt that my views on lots of stuffs changed a lot… So much that lots of friends were kinda surprised about my new character in me. 1 thing that really changed one of my key principles of life is – Who’s right or wrong..

Recently one of the famous Singaporean blogger (X) got herself into some troubles while commenting about her personal views & stuffs that happened during her trip to KL.. Of course if most people would know, human language at times misled others to other meanings.. Soon, everyone start commenting that she’s insulting friends up north, racists, immature enough & blar blar blar. On her defense – All she did is commenting personal views on this trip of hers.. Another blogger who actually started a blog & vent his anger on other races in SG - Especially those from other countries and here for work. His blog sitename & self-declare that he is racists & hate those who works here..

If you are reading this – take a step back & start reflecting yourself for a moment & ask this. What is right or wrong in this definition? If you ask most folks out in the streets, they will say something like “It means something that is wrong things to do. Example like rapes & etc.” Checked on dictionary will says “Appropriate for a condition or occasion”. For me – It very similar to what it says in the dictionary but says “Appropriate for a condition or occasion for the mass majority”

There’s a slide diff meanings between mine & on the dictionary. Dictionary says an appropriate actions or conditions based on situations. Mine plus mass majority – human being. If you have reflects & truly understand the histories of human - Our views changed thru-out period of times & some of the older views or so call it right thing to do in older days are very wrong in present. One very big example is man allows having multiple wives in older days. So if that the case – Are our forefathers wrong? There's so many stuffs I don't agree with others but I never tried to change their view but share mine instead. Alots of american view that what we are doing is right should be applied to theirs.. When they asked how I view it? All I said is, " no one is right or wrong. It just matter of what is the best decisions for your situation & apparently your gov works diff than us - but doesn't means we are better.. It just suit us more."

To me, it depends on where & what are the views from mass public. If you do some out of ordinary – At first people can’t accept it. But sooner or later others will start to agree & say it the right thing to do. Everyone has a different level of acceptances gauge & see views or comment in different ways. So some say X is racist for making comments on KL. Some says she just been bitchy. So you mean you have such a talent that able to see thru someone just by her few comments? Rrrrrrrrright!!.. We need more people like this in the world so that we have world peace..

Sorry I been abit bitchy :P. For those people out there, don’t you think have pre-judge someone abit too fast? I mean right she or he made some comments that is hurtful. But who knows, her lack of England powder like me is the reason that miss-code? Even thou she/he really meant that but hey – You can’t make everyone happy in this world – right? So why bother to force someone to change his/her views on something?

Oh ya – One more thing… A comment made likes “pig & etc” are in my definition is an insult, not racist – Racists are those like the terrorists who go around causing death to others.

Long journey for you dear :(

Isn't she cute? She has lots of stunt on her sleeping style.. Lately she has been very sticky.. Not her normal usual self.. Maybe she tot I going give her away.. Infact all I told her is "Let's go home, okie?" Thinking about the trip back home for her is going to be very hurtful... 20 over hours locked in a cage - At the cargo area...

Then when arrived home, gotto quarantine for 30 days!!!... Kaoz she borned in Singapore also mah.. Also can consider Singaporean cat mah.. Should have applied PR or pink IC before bringing her over.. My bad.. Sorry lor.. meow meow..

New Orleans hit

lately this has been a big issues that everyone in my company is talking about.. It kinda sad to see human race going thru all this.. But I find something even more sad than the diseaster.

1st - Why does the national guards need to bring along their arms? It just doesn't make senses at all. Granted that they may be under fire by people there.. But if you coming here to bring some help & carrying rifles and stuff - Aint you scaring people of?

2nd - From what I understand, it took about 3-5 days for the national guards & see some relief helps going on.. This is bad.. Think about what is going to happen if it is a terror attack or some invasion from another country?

3rd - Not sure if it is true.. But they have been warn about this 3 years ago & nothing is done or what.. & the system they have currently are really messy

I'm so glad that my home country at least try to do something about it even when no one knows when it going to happen. We have Civil defense having exercise practice in nation wide level. Our building are compulsory to widthstand at least some level of earthquake or sort.. Oh ya.. since they are facing all these natural diseaster every year.. why allow houses to build in woods??

Even thou i here for almost 2 years.. Sometime i really cant figure what their mindset & culture.. I remb having an incident when I just arrived & it kind funny that one of the movie did play out the exact scenario I had. Cant remb the movie name but it about a tourist who got stuck in the airport & trying to fillup some forms to get something done.

Anyway it happens that I was told to apply for Social Security ID when 1st arrived. So when it is my turn to be served, I explained & show this lady what i had to say or brought along on that day. Instead she told me need to fill form A.

So filled form A & get back to the Q again. Again when it is my turn, same lady say need form B also. Nabei.. cannot tell me in 1 session meh? So lan lan filled form B & back to the Q AGAIN.. And guess what the same lady told me when she saw all the forms? I didn't have some doc along with me. Cannot apply. WTF.. I filled & Q.. filled & Q again & now you said cannot apply? So difficult to tell me everything at 1 go meh?

One thing I notice about here is.. They do things just enough for whatever task they assigned to.. Will never go extra miles on it. Also if there's no system or process, they will not do. One more is they always complicated stuffs to the extend that common people wont understand bit at all. Just ask any american abt their Tax system.. Super complicated.. Sigh.. Well - if you are in Rome, do what romans do.. So nabei.. but still lan lan...

Meowwww

Let me intro my gf cum pet to you. & she got a very stupid name too.. meow meow. :P Anyway I used to hate her when I 1st had her.. But soon.. I realised that she more than just a pet to me.. Has been my side thru-out this almost 2 yrs in Austin & always sleep beside or ontop of me when bed time comes..

Recently her time of the month is here. Or rather time of every 2 month is here.. & SHE DRVING ME CRAZY.. cries non stop.. Horny lor.. Anyone wanna hump her for me?

Left in the cold...

Just finished the chat with my director & seem like there's no much options she can offer me.. Although she will check if it possible to send me back home permanently.

Been in a daze mood thru out my day.. So I kinda decided - First I will book a flight back home 1st.. Then no matter what her decision or options can be, I will just go back.. be it quit the job or what.

Meeting tommo

Going to have a meeting with my director tommo.. Not sure what she's going to say.. hopefully she will allow me to go back.. Keeping my fingers cross..