Should I or should I not?

Lately I been at 2 minds for almost everything.. 1st thing 1st.. I been wanting to update my blog for very long time.. However on another hand - I'm afraid she somehow see this blog.. (For whatever reason - I'm not going to disclose here.. Sad right?)

2nd - I was actually given a chance to get laid with some new ladies I met recently.. Again thoughts of doing a betrayal somehow stop me from going anywhere further..

Just couple weeks ago, gotto know a L thru frz and I could see she's all over me.. (Even my guy frz can tell).. Instantly asked for my fb and insist of taking pic on very night.. However she just not my type! opps.. :P

Then again last weekend gotto know K.. (She half jap and for some reason, I always get lucky with jap lol) Again I could sense that I'm for home run.. She's definitely doable but somehow - Something is pulling me back.. Is that a sign of finally growing up? lol

Netherless - I know my beastie mindset can't hold much longer.. It just waiting to release and sooner or later it's going to be.. The thoughts of just making love with 1 woman for rest of my life somehow scare me..

I need some help!!!!

Double Standards..

Sometime I really don't understand some people.. Y would someone can insist on something and yet not doing it? This is freaking absurd. And best of all? You can fuck up something and yet blamed it on me?

No matter how much I can tried to do my best - Somehow it's always 2nd best to u. Always something to say.. Always something to complain.. Always something to not like. I'm a fucking human ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updates..

These few months has been full of hell broke loses.. After constant fights and of cos many sessions (u know) - We finally coming to the end.. I guess it best for everyone.. I'm like 4 parties, who's bf, hubby and son are right infront of the Q.. Anyway there and I see no future between us.. So might as well..

Got to know FL from my flight back to home.. It started out kinda funny as she was making some stupid and unintentional remark of my looks. Anyway I wasnt feel that great. As we all know how nice and friendly SQ gals can be.. She brought some sweets for me and we start to make some small chat here and there. But she wasn't responding very posivtiesly when back to town..

Strangely enough FL sms me on new year greeting and we kinda kickstart of our friendship from there.. Soon I realised she just broke off with her ex and some hoo haa between 2 of them.. Somehow not sure if both of us are just looking for something or stuffs to keep us busy from mind turn wild or simply bcos we do wish to see how far can we develop..

I've to say, she's giving me mix signals from time to time.. At times I feel there's chances while at times.. I just felt he's just bore and I'm easily avialable...