E.. Why?

She never fail to surprise me.. And I believe I've done way more stuffs for her than any guys.. Somehow she felt we should end our story 3-4 mths back.. Actually I kinda expected it..

Now she got someone who she thinks is the one. Can you believe that? 2 weeks ago she claimed no relationship very sure.. 2 weeks??!!? 14 days??!!?? To be frank - I've been thinking about her lately.. Alot and I trying all sort of ways to get it off my mind.. I know it's a losing battle but I'm and still trying.. However hearing this news really hurt me big time..

Why is that I have to know her? Had I never meant her ever, I most likely happy married with 2 kids and a beautiful wife.. I guess and strongly believe in karma and guess I owed her bigtime in my previous life and now it's my time for payback. But 2nd time? Havent and shouldnt I already fulfilled the payment after the 1st? I was on the verge to end my life when it 1st happen and took me fxxking long time to pull myself back.. I know I way stronger than I was 5 years back but it's very painful to go thru this again - & alone.. Like people says - Love and hate so much similar..

Can someone please guide me out from this hell?