Oct 27th 2003.....

Saw this post by Sexual Innuendo makes me recall what happened & been thru 2 years back. I was on my way to State at that time & just got into the relationship with E... The feelings at that moment were very mixed.. Confuse, afraid, worries are some of the feelings I had.

I still remb the last few min before I boarded the plane & we were exchanged sms. Her last sms is, "Why does all these has to happen to us? Why do we gotto know each other that late? Hope you do well there & pls take care of yrself..."

On that moment, I felt like unboard the plane, take the shortest time to & be with her.. But alas we are not in those love drama series where this would actually happen.. So off I flew to State where I transit @ Japan.. Moment I touched down, drop her a call & all she do is kept crying.. I felt so hurt.. Felt I done a very bad mistake for leaving her.. & she right, why do I wanna leave? So many whys & little answer to offer..

After leaving Japan, touching down @ Chicago.. Again I called her once I'm able to do that.. Again she cried.. Alot & all I could do are sweet-talking her over the phone so that she will feel better.. But soon our long-distance relationship only last not more than 2 months.. It very sad.. One gotto follow what his brian said while his heart is @ hometown.. No.. He left his heart & soul to someone else.. & now becos of the stupid $ & career, he lost his most beloved one in his life..

For ladies, man.. I mean all men in the world hate when he can't do anything nothing but.... just listen - & keep quiet thru out the whole situation.. In agony.. That man for you.. I remb a phrase very clearly that goes - Being woman are tough.. She needs to know when or what can be said or not. Being men are even as tough.. He needs to know what should he do or not.. No one is tougher than others.. It all the same.. There I was, made her cried so badly.. But nothing I can do or offer her.. The crying, the complains, the sadness & phone calls.. It still sounded so fresh in my mind as it just happened yesterday..

So what has happened between E & me? She’s gone.. Far far away.. I can sense that.. She no longer the gal that once love me as deeply as before.. But she's still as ever in my heart - forever.. Maybe no one will ever able to replace her.. I donno & don care anymore.. Cos I’ve tried before.. Tried very hard to forget her.. but failed.. That’s the meaning of life.. Only when one falls will he understand what is pain.

Sexual Innuendo - Even though we are in the diff position as you are at the moment, I can totally understand what you are going thru... But guess you can be glad that she only going to Indo.. for couple of months.. However if you 2 are very committed to each other.. Then you 2 will become a better couple after this..